For Mama

Something was amiss - the sun was shining and Scott was so happy this morning, yet I woke up feeling out of sorts and slightly blue – and then it dawned on me - today 6 years ago my beautiful grandmother passed away.
I’m still surprised by the depth of pain I feel when I think of Mama and just how much I miss her. There are moments when it hits me again – she is no longer here with us, I find myself saying oh I must tell Mama this or I must show mama that … when unrepentantly I remember her soft hands or remember the way she smelled. I miss lying behind her back in that tiny bed and touching her soft hair. Here is a peek into a personal moment … Mama loved to have her back scratched before going to bed haha and the grandkids would fight with each other to have the honour – I invariably ‘won’ the fight cos I was the youngest (and cutest haha) and I would always scratch very carefully around the mole on Mama’s back – my own way of taking care of the special woman who always took care of me.

I especially missed Mama when I was pregnant and on the day Scott was born.
I would love to hear her voice saying his name and see her holding my son in her arms – I can just picture her singing to him and saying that like his mother he too has lucky lips and then singing very jauntily … lucky lips are made for kissing lucky lips are never blue … just like she did for me when I was little. I wonder if this tight feeling in my chest will always remain when I remember my mama?
28th June 2000 in memoria – I love you Chrissie and I miss you so much!
I will tell Scott about his great-grandmother who is watching over him and whom I know is guarding over our child as his own personal angel … Thank you for being my inspiration.